Saturday, May 12, 2018

Are You a Democrat, a Republican or a Marine?


Hat Tip: navypatriot and Suzanne Eovaldi

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. 

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge rusty knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you yelling “allah akbar!” 

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? 
Democrat

A Democrat’s Answer
  • Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
  • What is a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP?
  • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
  • Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
  • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
  • Could we run away?
  • What does my wife think?
  • What about the kids?
  • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
  • What does the law say about this situation?
  • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
  • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
  • Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
  • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
  • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
  • Should I call 9-1-1?
  • Why is this street so deserted?
  • We need to raise taxes, have a “paint and weed” day.
  • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
  • I need to debate this with some friends at Starbucks for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
  • This is all so confusing!

A Republican's Answer

BANG! 

A Marine's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! 

Click. (Sounds of reloading.) 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 

Click. 

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester silver tips or hollow points?” 

(Sounds of boot stomping on terrorist’s head)

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!


Son: “Dad, can I shoot the next one?” 

(Sound of K-Bar being unsheathed)

SLASH!  SLASH!  STAB!  STAB!  STAB! STAB!  STAB!  STAB!

Wife: “You are not taking that to the taxidermist!” 


Share this with your favorite Democrat, Republican or a Marine!


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