"It is unfair that France and other enlightened and generous nations, who open their borders and welcome Muslim refugees, must suffer the most from Islamic terrorism," Macron said at a campaign rally on Monday. "Being a fair-minded person, I am both saddened and outraged that less enlightened nations, especially Poland, who close their borders to Muslim migrants, get to enjoy terror-free existence. It just doesn't make sense."
Macron promised to use all his power and influence as Prime Minister to ensure that Islamic terrorism in Europe is distributed more equitably. "This means Poland will be forced to absorb more of the terror attacks on European soil because that is what enlightened nations do," he said.
Asked how his powers as PM would help to turn his ideas into reality, the suave, devastatingly handsome Macron reminded everyone that France is not America whose government must abide by outdated constitutional limitations. "Americans may brag about their freedom, but it is, in fact, our government that has a lot more freedom to do what's necessary in any given political situation," said Macron.