Thursday, May 12, 2016

The University of Oregon employs thought police who hired themselves

By Kevin “Coach” Coach” Collins

The University of Oregon is sorely in need of an enema. It has become filled with the worst kind of social excrement a university can accumulate. It has descended into a state of perpetual readiness to root out and destroy any vestige of speech and thought that might even slightly deviate from liberal orthodoxy.

When any member of the school’s cozy little community alleges that she/he has been offended, the speech warriors of the U of O’s Bias Response Team (BRT) spring into action.     

No complaint is too petty for these civil servants that have invented their own lifetime jobs.  

As described by Reason magazine, “Students, faculty, and staff who feel threatened, harassed, intimidated, triggered, microaggressed, offended, ignored, under-valued, or objectified because of their race, gender, gender identity, sexuality, disability status, mental health, religion, political affiliation, or size are encouraged to contact the BRT.” “Political affiliation?” 

Really, even registered Republicans?

The BRT’s members have credentials that read like something out of an ONION parody article. They are the school’s “multicultural inclusion support specialists,” which means he/she does whatever seems to be fascinating on a given day. Of course there is a LGBT member whose constituency is perpetually offended so the assignment will NEVER end; given its location there is of course a “Native American Retention Specialist,” and a member who must be a mind reader, because he stands ready to swiftly respond to any kind of bias toward anyone by “any physical, spoken, or written act” even those that were clearly unintentional. The color patrol is represented as well so Brown skinned people can whine about being offended by words on a shirt or spoken to a third Party and not intended for them; we can’t risk leaving anyone out, after all.

It’s nice to be a slug on a publicly funded faculty; you can invent your own job and design it so its mission objectives can never be met. With the main product of our colleges and universities these days being weak minded wimps who cry because the guy sitting next to them has garlic on his breath, membership on the Bias Response Team is a perfect job for the lazy and un-ambitious leaches who roam our campuses these days.  

No comments:

Post a Comment